Tete a tete with Jaisree misra

I was in the 8th standard when I first read Ancient Promises by Jaisree Misra. The book had a profound impact on me. The characters haunted me. If my heart bled for Janu, it skipped a beat for Arjun. When Janu cried, I wept, when she smiled I laughed. I do not know if any other book has had such a major impact on me. The plot of Ancient Promises evolves around Janu, a failed marriage, and the final triumph of true love. I do not know how many times I have read the book, but each time I reached the epilogue, I would resolve to ask Jaisree Misra, “ but why, O! Why did Janu have to suffer all that she did?! She just had to say a simple, emphatic, “NO”!” I did not know how, but I was sure I would.

When I joined St.Teresa’s for my graduation I chose B.A Literature as my stream of study. As I entered class, something pulled me towards the second bench of the left row. I went and sat there. When my class teacher came into class, she looked at me for one long moment, and said” O! Seated in Jaisree Misra’s bench. Huh?” I went blank for a second, and suddenly a wave of euphoria gripped me... Wow!! Jaisree Misra sat on this bench? And all of a sudden, my dream seemed so near… yet… so far!!!

It was the first of February, 2008. I was a final year student now. I woke up to the clang of dishes from the kitchen. Damn!! Why was making breakfast such a noisy affair? I got out of bed and went to the dining table. “The New Indian Express” was neatly folded and kept next to dad’s coffee mug. I grabbed the paper before dad could come. The headlines remained the same... the 1, 2, 3, deal, the markets plummeting, speculation about whether Ash was pregnant and then, there in the corner ,a headline caught my eye!! “RENOWED AUTHOR JAISREE MISRA IN TOWN” I knew my dream was going to become a reality today.

I managed to coax my friends into accompanying me to the DC book fest. Jaisree Misra was to inaugurate it. The program was to start at 10. We occupied our seats in the second row by 9:15. By 9:45, an elegantly dressed lady in a saree, occupied a chair in the front row. I managed to steal a glance and O! My god!! It was Jaisree herself!! We broke into beads of perspiration and suddenly we were caught by a sudden bout of rigor mortis. We somehow managed to gather some courage, and suddenly we were face to face with ‘the‘Jaisree Misra. We introduced ourselves to her as students of St. Teresa’s College. She broke into a warm smile and before we knew it we were in conversation with the legend.

Lea: How does it feel coming back to Kochi?
JM : Cochin has changed a lot. It’s so busy. The traffic is crazy. I saw St. Teresa’s on my way here. I really wanted to go n see everyone. But I just can’t seem to find the time. St. Teresa’s is really special for me. I was not just a student there; the college gave me my first job. I worked in the college for 6mts as a guest lecturer.

Gayathri: Was the transition from Delhi to Kochi difficult?
JM : (smiling) I’d never say it was easy. But the college helped me a lot with the whole process. In Delhi, the churidaar was in vogue and that was what I wear usually. I remember, the first day of college, every one was staring at me like I was some kind of an alien. Within a week though, most of the girls were in churidaar. It had become a style statement (laughs) I was very active as a student, and the college provided me with the best of opportunities, especially when it came to theatre.


Sunshine: You work in the British Board of Film Certification, which is similar to the Indian Censor Board. You are an author and a strong advocate of creative freedom. Don’t you think the two spheres contradict?
JM : That is a good question. As authors, we should keep in mind that there are people who get provoked very easily. These people make mountains out of mole hills. Now, I can’t restrain my thoughts and feelings keeping them in mind. I enjoy total freedom of expression, but let me tell you, I don’t believe in the concept entirely. As a writer I have the authority to hurt, but this authority is not my license to hurt. I should be sensitive. Being sensitive is not being afraid. The
new generation of authors, should keep this in mind.

Sunshine: Your opinion on the literary scene in India?
JM : In the west, the reading population is diminishing at an alarming pace. In Britain we have kids who can’t read even at the age of eight. Foreign publishers have taken note of the Indian market which has been fuelled by the tremendous on English and English education. Publishers like HarperCollins and Random House have envisaged enormous projects with India in mind. The future looks bright.

Arathi: Ancient Promises was essentially feminist, and now your recent book is about the Rani of Jhansi. Are u feminist?
JM : I was not born one. But I believe circumstances have made me support the cause. I don’t believe in clamorous feminism. Mine is the calm and composed type.

Sunshine: Has being the grand niece of Thakazi had an impact on your writing?
JM : Valiyachan has definitely had an impact on me. I guess my instinct for writing comes from him.

Tina : Your message to the girls back at St. Teresa’s?
JM : Well, looking at you girls I definitely feel the women of Kerala have come a long, long way. I could never dream of being so outgoing in my time. As girls, we were fettered, and we longed for the freedom you children are enjoying now. All I have to say is believe in yourself and never quit dreaming. Thank you!


…… and as JM breezed out of that hall, I suddenly realized, why Janu had to suffer all that she did!!

"Congratulations -Welcome to the Teresian family.. classes willb egin on the 6th." Suddenly , like a thunderbolt, the truth struck me! I could never, ever, become what i had dreamt of sinse the day amma huddled me close to her chest and whispered " your r going to become a great doctor" Sorrow like a sharp edged sword plunged into my heart - I cried!!!

My fate had long beesn sealed with the announcement of the Kerala CET results. But, i hung on! I had written scores of other tests. Surely something would come up. Something did come - In plenty ..... Rejections!! I'v heard people say that goodbye is the saddest word. But i felt " NOT QUALIFIED" was more suited for the title. After each result was announced , i would burn the hall tickets of the tests in the privacy of my dark bedroom. Even the bluish yellow flames that came forth, seemed to be mocking me. The black ash that remained i would blow out of the little window throught which i had often gazed into the deep blue skies smiling at the thought of being addressed as a doctor. The black ash would flutter in the gentle breeze, like a swarm of bees before I lost sight of them. Then, one day i realized i had no more hall tickets to burn. But i was not some one who would give up so easily. I waited and waited in wain for the phone call that never came, the post man who never turned up! Meanwhile zubin n sunu had already got admission to Kottayam medical college. We were often called the three musketeers. I wondered why there was no 2 musketeers.. as i tried to hide rivulets of tears streaming down my cheeks. " my lord, my lord why have you forsaken me?"my heart cried out as we parted ways.

On the 6th of july I entered the portals of St. Teresa's College, Ernakulam. I was startled by what i saw before me! The same white building, the same flight of stairs... everything resembled the medical college I used to visualise in my dreams. There was a slight difference though, instead of reading Kottayam medical college, the sighn board said, St. Teresa's College, Ernakulam. As i was climbing the steps to my class room I came across an open bible. My heart skipped a beat as i read Jeremiah 29:11 "I alone know the plans I have for you. Plans for your prosperity, not disaster." A sudden calmness engulfed me, I felt peaceful for the first time in many months. The college had meanwhile arranged an orientation course for us first years. The 3 days of praise and worship, lifted me to the pinnacle of spiritual bliss. On the last day we were asked to write on a piece of paper stuff we wished to erase from memory. I scribled " My dream to become a doctor" We were then asked to cast the bit into the flame before us. As i burnt the bit, the yellow flames no longer seemed to mock me. They seemed to be dancing.. dancing to the song that arose from the depths of my heart.

hmmmm.... the phase of my life after my 12th grade, was one horrific ordeal. But as the saying goes, " every dark cloud has a silver lining". St. Teresa's was the silver lining for me. I have regained the lost rythm of my life and risen from the ashes of shame and defeat. Indeed i have finally attained my Canannan of freedom.

to be or not to be: that is the quest

whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

th slings & arrows of outrageous forthune

or, to take arms against a sea of trouble

and by opposing them.... END them?

nb: I prefer the latter! I intend to be..........